Growing up

by Ven. Thubten Gyatso

New-born babies are the centre of attention in any family and, with our every requirement being lovingly provided, we can hardly be blamed for assuming we are the centre of the universe. It comes as a shock, however, when, as we get older, we are subject to parental discipline and sibling jealousy. We then realise that we have to fight for ourselves. And fight we do - knowing full well what "I want" and what is "mine."

In hospital emergency departments I have seen babies murdered by elder siblings desiring to regain their status at the centre of the world. But most of us leave physical violence behind as the means for obtaining our own ends, and we cultivate more subtle strategies of flattery, false smiles, and so on. This progressive sophistication of selfish behaviour is called "growing up." As adults, however, we retain in our psyches an impression of the time when we were loved and entertained by everybody, and we have an inner craving to rediscover the lost paradise we cannot remember but we feel exists somewhere. Forever in pursuit of this elusive memory, we compete with each other for material possessions, sensory pleasures, praise, and fame. When frustrated in achieving these four aims, our sophisticated airs are lost, and we revert to infantile behaviour patterns, as the great Bodhisattva, Shantideva, said:

When their sandcastles collapse,
Children howl and despair;
Likewise, when my praise and reputation decline,
My mind becomes like a little child.

Knowing no alternative, our lives of conflict and unrealised dreams drain us of hope, and appear meaningless as old age and death approach ever more rapidly. First we transfer our hope onto our children, wishing them to be happy, but they grow up just like ourselves, or even worse. Then we hope for our grandchildren, but we probably die before they too have the opportunity to disappoint us.

The truly mature person, a rare flower in this world of thorns, is one whose mind is at peace, free from the pursuit of selfish dreams; who craves no wealth, pleasure, praise, or fame, and is unmoved by loss, pain, criticism, or ignominy. Such maturity is the goal of the Buddhist path and is achieved through elimination of the self-centred attitude, rooted in the false conception of self, and the cultivation of universal love and compassion. To "grow up" in a Buddhist sense is to achieve our potential of becoming a Buddha, a path upon which we all must eventually embark if we want real happiness for ourselves and others.

The most profound method for achieving this aim is the practice of tantra, where one takes a male or female Buddha as one's role model and, through meditational methods, transforms one's physical, verbal, and mental powers into the aspect of enlightenment. The plethora of tantric deities is not a polytheism as some people mistakenly assert. Each deity is a fully enlightened Buddha whose form represents a particular aspect of the enlightened mind which, according to our personality, we can choose as the central theme of our growing up.

In general, the enlightened mind is the unification of exalted wisdom and bliss born out of great compassion. The perfection of the masculine part of our psyche is great bliss; the perfection of our feminine aspect is exalted wisdom, and the combination of these two is symbolised by tantric deities in sexual union. This has nothing to do with mundane sexual activity - another mistaken belief held both by non-Buddhists and those Buddhists who have failed to abandon their childish pursuit of self-gratification.

In previous articles I have slated parents, teachers, politicians, and stars of the field, screen, and catwalk as unsuitable role models. I have not mentioned rock stars, they can speak for themselves. Many religious figures have depressingly tragic life-stories, or have been exposed as hypocritical frauds and are not acceptable by most people as models to live by. So, what is left? Buddhahood is not a state of omnipotence, such a state is considered to be impossible. But it is a state of perfection of both wisdom and compassion, and the only suitable models for perfection are perfection itself - the deities of tantric practice, supreme in every aspect, whose bodies, voices, and minds exude universal love, bliss, wisdom, and power.

In his human aspect, the Dalai Lama is not seen as a role model, but in his aspect as the tantric deity Avalokiteshvara, the Buddha of Compassion, he is indeed a perfect guide. The profundity of his special situation is ridiculed by the absurd title "God-King" which the Western media so often give to him. It reminds me of the mocking title "King of the Jews" written upon the cross of another great Bodhisattva in the past. Buddhas constantly appear in the world as "ordinary" beings and, as my teacher once said, "If anybody on this earth today is a Buddha, it has to be His Holiness the Dalai Lama."

Gyatso

This teaching is by the Venerable Thubten Gyatso (previously Dr Adrian Feldmann), an Australian monk and old friend now working in Mongolia. One of the senior students of Lama Yeshe, Lama Zopa Rinpoche (and also Geshe Roach) he is currently teaching at the FPMT centre in Ulaan Baatar. These teachings originally appeared in his local English language newspaper in Ulaan Baatar and arereproduced with his permission.

Thanks to Diane Olander (pelmo@got.net), these teachings first appeared on the Internet on the website (www.gepeling.org) of
The Jangchub Gepel Ling Center for Tibetan Buddhist Studies,
6960 Highway 9, Felton, CA 95018, Tel: 01 (831) 335 1217
where you can find many more teachings and other interesting material.