Re: Torn - what is best for my children

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Posted by David S. ( on October 15, 2000 at 07:15:48:

In Reply to: Torn - what is best for my children posted by Dannielle on October 14, 2000 at 12:02:51:

Hi Dannielle,

Well, the most important part is taken care of by you already, and this is that you are already putting your children's benefit first in this situation. But children do follow a parent's example more than their advice, so if you are not engaging with people (or the ideas) at the church, your children could see that as their example, and the purpose to get them involved could be compromised. So if you would not be able to play your role fully, Micheal Pollard's advice is very good - look into other places to get the children involved. If you live in the U.S. there are things like 4-H, boy and girl scouts, sports, and I'm sure other chilren's interest groups at museums, schools, etc. Or if you have the time and resources, maybe you can even start a group, like taking local kids to various places to hike, walk, see a museum, etc. But either way, try and find something you can get your own heart into also. That way you can connect with your children through it.. talking about it with them, relating to them, and sometimes taking part with them.

Of course, if your purpose is more to expose your children to Christianity, then I'd suggest finding a church that is very progressive, and embraces some mystic Christian teachings, if such a church is available to you. That way you can become engaged and get something out of it as well, and even discuss it with your children since a decent portion of mystic Christianity is in sink with some Buddhist methods and ethics. This may of course mean going out of your old denomination which may or may not be easy to convince other family members to do. :)

Best wishes,

: I would love to hear from other mothers whose spouse is not Buddhist. I am Buddhist, I say that and I feel that. My husband is very supporting, although, he may think that I border on the rim of crazy. I feel torn when it comes to my children. I di not grow up Buddhist, my parents always gave us the decision to make ourselves, even as young children. My parents we not particulary religious, my maternal grandmother was an over zelous Catholic, I found myself drawm to the Catholic mystisism, much as was the draw to Buddhism.
: I town does not have a temple nor a Buddhist community that I know of, beleive me I have searched. I am torn because I feel that my children are not exposed to "christianity" as I was as a child and at times, I feel that they are lacking that comrodery. My husband feels that we should go to church to expose our children, I say that I would have to agree. My choice to be Buddhist, was just that MY CHOICE. I feel however, that I am being hypocritical by attending a church were I do not beleive in the philosophy. I would love to hear other peoples opinions in this matter.

: Metta,

: Dannielle

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