Coming out?!

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Posted by SkySitter ( on October 21, 2000 at 02:38:24:

In Reply to: telling the family posted by kundagbo on October 18, 2000 at 04:31:37:

: hello,
: i have converted to buddhism after being raised a christian in a christian home. i do not want to cause my mother any suffering but i am afraid that when i tell her my belifs have changed it will cause her great pain. i know that keeping this inside and not telling her is causing me to suffer and causing a rift between us. what do i do? i know that i dont want to hurt her but if i tell her she will be hurt. im not sure how to handle this, can you help/
: thanks
: ga le bzhugs
: kundagbo

I don't know people can be "converted" into Buddhists?! My comments may be way off, so I am asking for forgiveness here first.
Most of my Buddhist friends don't even call ourselves "buddhists". We call ourselves "Buddha's children" (implying: still learning, and yes, OK to make mistakes). We continue to be engineers, married persons, Catholic, stock brokers, etc.
If I have to describe what it means to be a Buddhist, I might have to say: take the responsibility. Take care of things if know how. Otherwise, sit and meditate.
I don't really know what to come out for?

On the conversation with family, I would recommend the Acintita Sutta:
"In the case of words that the Tathagata knows to be factual, true, unbeneficial, unendearing & disagreeable to others, he does not say them. "

Don't just think about "me"! If a subject is not beneficial to you mother, it is not a subject for you to talk to your mother about.

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