Re: To love or have an empty heart?

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Posted by Sam ( on March 21, 2000 at 06:52:44:

In Reply to: To love or have an empty heart? posted by Lisa on March 20, 2000 at 13:05:01:

Having an empty heart -- I think -- refers to the practice of nonattachment. In other words, I think your boyfriend means he wants to feel a deeper, more universal love for you as a person rather than being physically or emotionally (over)attached to you as "a girlfriend". I myself strive for this peace of heart; it's too easy in a relationship to get caught up in "your my boyfriend/girlfriend", which implies a sort of possession. Rather, most Buddhists (or, at least me, but I'm not strictly a Buddhist) want to express a simpler, more profound and meaningful love, a love of humanity that they find particlarly and especially manifested in the people they choose to spend their lives with. This, of course, is the secular Buddhist (that's a terrible term, actually; what I mean is a Buddhist not devoting him/herself to the monastic life) and so such a person is not so strictly Buddhist -- he or she may bend the rules a little.

In other words, I don't think you have anything to worry about. Buddhists and other inner-seeking mystics tend to talk in funny ways.

MOST IMPORTANTLY: have you talked to your boyfriend about your feelings? Discuss all this with him. (Emphasis on "discuss"; don't approach him with hurt feelings and wind up in a fight). I'm sure if you two talk this out, everything will make sense. Note my e-mail. I'm around if you want to talk. I'd like to know how things turn out, actually.

Good luck and much happiness for you both!

Peace and compassion... Sam :)

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